My Name is Kurama
by Evening Lilacs
Summary: xThen he left, and I'd said one word to him. He had left my sanctuary. HE had left MY sanctuary. Yet, I cannot even begin to describe how much I wished he hadn't. I have a crush on Hiei, Jaganshi.x Kurama x Hiei
1. KURAMA x third June

DISCLAIMER.  
I don't own YuYu Hakusho.

xdXbx

_xx X x.xx __equals xx.xx __percent __equals x/xxx __equals .xxxx_

_x X xy __equals ?_

June third  
_My name is Kurama. Well, realistically, I have a few names. I'm called Minamino Shuuichi by those who know me only as a human, and Youko Kurama by those who know me only as a demon. I guess that makes me Kurama Shuuichi to those who know me as both, then. But just Kurama will do. It always has. Because that's what I am, 'just Kurama.'_

_That's what's really on my mind right now, I suppose. I do think this requires my explaining, as I have never shared these thoughts with anyone. I barely allow myself to believe them, but as I grow it only becomes harder to suppress my seemingly warring emotions. So of course, an outlet is absolutely necessary. I've read books enough on maturity and development to know that if you don't create the outlet, the outlet creates you. That is to say, you become identified by your outbreaks of feelings at random times, your temper tantrums, your crying fits. That is not something I need to be known for. I'm already just me, and I want to keep myself at least in the zone of positive numbers regarding this subject of my image. So this old pre-algebra notebook has become my way of getting rid of what I can't carry. It strikes me as funny that something originally intended to host only logical writing has now become defiled by the fitful worries of an adolescent._

_But I digress. I do need to get back to what I was saying, for if I keep these matters bubbling about on the tip of my mind, they are sure to slide to my tongue._

_The absolute truth is, I feel utterly alone right now. None of my close friends have noticed it, and really, why should they? They have their own affairs to be dealing with, and I am not a part of them. Yusuke and Keiko, I can tell, are getting around to openly revealing their feelings for each other, with Botan (over-enthusiastically, in my opinion) behind them all the way. Kuwabara is preoccupied with persistent thoughts of his beloved Ice Maiden, Hiei's sister. So there are my closest friends, all busy. What I'm getting at can easily be seen by now._

_All of the others are involved in, or supportive of, a romantic relationship. Me? I get to watch._

_Despite how much I hate to admit it, I am now crying. It's not fair! I mean, sure, a good seventy-five percent of the girls at my school have crushes on me. But I don't even know them. I don't care. I DON'T CARE! I feel absolutely no attraction to them. Truthfully, I am deathly afraid to say why. But I know I have to. For the reason why this is so, my above comments on the use of emotional outlets can be referenced._

_Now I must take a deep breath and prepare myself for my silent confession._

_All right, I've taken my breath(s). It took me all of fifteen minutes, but now I am starting, and nothing is going to hold me from seeing this confession of mine through until I am completely and wholly finished. This paragraph has served as my final pep talk._

_I have a crush._

_I said it. But now I am tied to also saying the rest of this._

_My crush is not normal, so much so that it's scary. This is because... my crush is not on a member of the opposite sex, as all the books I've read say it should be. My crush is on another male._

_My God, I am scared to death. What have I done wrong? Why is this happening to me? Why does ANY of this have to happen? Why does it have to be so scary? I'm so afraid. I want to run, but he'd find me. I want to hide, but he can see perfectly well into the darkest corners possibly imagined by any living being. I want to cry, but he'd know. He always knows. I want to break down, but he wouldn't be able to pick me up, to piece me back together, to give me the one and only thing I so desperately want._

_All along, I never realized that the butterflies in my stomach and heat in my face and neck when he was around was a crush. After all, he's also considered my 'best friend.' What is there to suspect about one half of a 'best friends' pair always clinging to the other? Nothing. But the problem is, somewhere within myself, I know that I'm not his best friend. My other side is. And maybe it's best that way. My other side is stronger, faster, and... more masculine. Men don't cry. I do. Men don't choose flowers as their most deadly weapons. I do. Men don't write their English assignments in scrawly cursive. I do. Men don't... Men don't get crushes on themselves. I just got done crying, and now I've started all over again._

_I'm such an idiot for not knowing earlier. Maybe if I had, I could have stopped it. Stopped myself from falling and hitting the ground with this huge thud. I'm slowly dying of the resulting internal bleeding._

_I guess when I first saw it was that day, that day about two weeks ago. That day changed everything about my life, and for the worse. If I could have one wish granted in my entire life, it would be for that day not to have happened. Maybe then, I wouldn't be in the mess I'm now in._

_Maybe then, I'd be normal._

_I was out in the small garden at the back of my house, just walking around, singing under my breath a song whose drifting melody now rests, peacefully forgotten. All the plants and flowers about me were grateful for the rich liquid my watering can had to offer, and they did seem to lift themselves even higher up as I walked by. None of them wanted to be ignored, I guess, as if they needed to worry about that. I always took my best care to make sure they all got their fair share of the nutrients they longed for in the intra-summer heat. That little garden was the sanctuary stuck randomly in the center of my turbulent life. It was hard to visit, hard to remember, and hard to come by. No one could find me there, or so I thought._

_I should have thought better. I should have known he'd find me._

_I shouldn't have been singing._

"_Try it an octave lower."_

_His deep, strong voice forced shivers to spiral through my entire body, eyelashes, fingernails, kneecaps, and all. I turned in surprise, and there he was, leaning against the back of the house, muscled arms crossed, deadly weapon at his waist, eyes glinting slightly through the shadow the roof sent over his face. Like it was the most natural thing in the world to do. It shocked me, at the absolute least. He was in my sanctuary._

_HE was in MY sanctuary._

_I blundered like a good idiot for the next five seconds, mouth working silently, until I managed to crack out, "An-"_

"_Octave lower, yes."_

_To this day, I still do wonder if he was crazy to suggest that. A human couldn't have counted how many times my voice cracked in the higher register, my COMFORTABLE RANGE. Then again, he isn't a human. He probably has the exact figure. I was embarrassed to death and blushing madly, and he laughed lightly._

"_That's all right. I guess that would be kind of putting you on the spot. I'll leave you alone, then."_

_Then he left, and I'd said one word to him. He had left my sanctuary._

_HE had left MY sanctuary._

_Yet, I cannot even begin to describe how much I wished he hadn't._

_I have a crush on Hiei, Jaganshi._

xdXbx


	2. HIEI x third June

DISCLAIMER.  
I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho.

xdXbx

I watch him as he sleeps, so peacefully, so calmly, and about him that undeniably beautiful rose-scented aura floats, a romantic cloud of flowers. The decidedly unwavering flame of serenity he carries on his chest during the daytime hours vanishes the moment he falls victim to the desire to sleep each night. I am the only person that knows how truly turbulent his emotions are. Gradually simmering up in the heat produced by his show of false feelings, a hellish inferno is threatening to break through and crush all in its path. I know this, because I can feel his dreams.

Anyone reading my mind right now would wonder why I am watching him sleep. I am watching him sleep because we've been assigned a mission, just the two of us, and we are currently staying in a hotel room "comfortably equipped" (for a change) with a bathroom, a desk, a television, and two beds, though the little mints they've placed on the pillows only serve to annoy me. He shares my views on this. We had a great deal of fun experimenting with the many ways we could obliterate the things, until there were none left (yet quite a lot of little opalescent shavings peppering all the coverings in the room). With many bits of them sprinkled through his scarlet hair, he yawned quietly, and sighed one of his small sighs.

"It looks as if you'll never beat me to sleep, Hiei."

His pacific, drifting voice filled the space that he left as he shuffled quietly to the bathroom to change in preparation to go to bed.

Maybe he felt my eyes on his back as he walked. For a split second he stopped, and I felt a suffocating tension envelope my body. Then it was gone, leaving me to pant in its wake. Or maybe the whole thing was in my head.

He fascinates me, to put it plainly. He really, truly, perfectly fascinates me. He fascinates me in how soft, how very gentle his movements are, in how naturally a kind smile will always find a way onto his face, in how beautifully he sleeps. Even with dreams as unpleasant as I know his are, despite the nightly torture session he goes through, his body as he sleeps is an image of only grace in my mind.

Now he is writhing slightly about, and his face appears the slightest bit panicked. I can only wonder what it is that causes _him _pain; I know of nothing. Before he went to bed, though, he spent an unbelievable amount of time with his nose stuck in a notebook labeled 'Pre-Algebra.' When I asked him what he was doing, he replied, "emotional outlet," and kept writing.

Usually we talk until he falls asleep, just talk, with the falling darkness creating a comfortable bond between us. But tonight was different; tonight, something told me he just might get vicious if not left alone. It is not pleasant when he gets angry. I've seen it. I muttered, "I'll be back," leaving the room to take a walk.

We are staying on the east coast of Kyushu, with a beach located at the back of the hotel. It's been a WHILE since we've stayed somewhere this nice, somewhere this normal. I stood at the water's edge, taking it all in, careful not to let it touch me. I do not like to get wet. Water puts out fire. I do not like water.

But as I was there, something nagged at the back of my thoughts. The sparkling evening sea vanished, a pair of equally twinkling green eyes taking its place, and the bloody sunset transformed into a silkily flowing mane of soft cardinal hair. His face and figure appeared solidly in my mind. Why, though, was I thinking of him? The very thing that could kill me is what has kept him alive up to this point. Without water, his poison plants wilt to death, his biting plants wilt to death, his exploding plants wilt to death. Without water, his rose whip is a chain of shriveled thorns.

But fire can tear up flowers in an instant, so I guess that would make us even. My only concern is as to just how long two such forces can exist in harmony without completely destroying each other.

"Hiei."

I whirled around at the sound of a feminine voice stating my name, to be approached by a black-clad figure a bit taller than myself. I can say that right then, I thought I had been stalked.

"Who are you?" I demanded, preparing to draw my sword.

She giggled, and pulled off her hood. Lazy-blue hair pooled down about her shoulders, the only blue hair I've ever seen.

"I'm insulted you didn't recognize me, Hiei."

"Botan," I grunted. I generally don't talk to stalkers, and though she wasn't a stalker... I just didn't feel like talking. The image of his face was still plaguing me.

"Geez, nice to see you, too!"

"Hmph."

She rolled her eyes, "So you two made it here without a problem?"

I nodded.

"All right then, that's all I need to know." She paused. "You should get back to him."

And she disappeared.

Her actions confused me beyond all necessary means. It was nearly as if the drift of a repressed implication hung on her words, though I immediately dismissed the idea of such an impossible thing. That girl... so weird.

But I did go back to see him. Not immediately, but I went back. I took my time, watching the waves as they pounded and foamed in a content, comforting circle.

And again, thoughts of him filled my mind; his eyes, his smile, his heart, the type of heart I can never have. Though my physical element is a warm flame, I'm known as ice. Ironic that I should have a sister so precisely opposite. While she ties herself to people with many strong bonds, I creep further away, continuously backing into my own private shadowy corner. The only such bonds I have are a one-sided one to her... and one with him.

I don't regret it. Attachment is a weakness. Attached to something or someone, you are vulnerable. You can be easily provoked, easily toyed with, easily ripped apart, danced around like a flimsy wooden marionette.

As I entered our room, this is why I began to feel as if I was on strings, as if whatever he did directly influenced what I felt.

As I entered, it was really all I could do to stay calm through those first few seconds after seeing the state he was in.

He was face-down on his bed, clothes rumpled, hair tangled, punching his pillow helplessly. Over and over. His eyes and cheeks were as red as his hair—and wet. This scared me out of my mind. I spend precious little of my time with humans; even so, I do know that the only normal times for bodily substances to actually leave the body are few. Water coming out of your eyes is not normal. It's not right.

I ran to him and grabbed his fists, wrestling them to his sides, yelling at him, asking what was wrong. He faced me with a horrified expression, stuttering uncontrollably. His chest heaved up and down far too rapidly.

"Hiei...! Hiei... help... I need... help..."

No shit.

He fell back on the bed, muscles convulsing, his body completely out of his control. I was now petrified. I forcefully pulled him to sit up, pressing him to me. I ordered him to stop; I ordered him to breathe. He tried; he couldn't.

I saw why.

One of his deadly vines must have grown from the salty liquid seeping from his eyes and sideways into his hair, because it was twisted about his thin neck. I told him not to move. He obeyed.

I drew my sword, and had in an instant freed him of the makeshift hangman's rope. He remained silent, traumatized, trying to breathe as I held him tightly. I was afraid to let go. I gripped one of his hands. I was just as scared as he was.

After a while, he regained the ability to breathe, and I regained the ability to think, and we each pulled away. We said nothing. We didn't need to. He thanked me with one brimming glance that shot straight through my eyes and pooled in the heating within my chest. I told him never to do that again with a light grunt and a nod. I usually don't bother with both.

He fell asleep.

He sleeps peacefully now. But the nightmares will start soon.

xdXbx

**x**_ Azalee_ -COOL PEN NAME. I'm glad you liked the part with the singing and the garden; that was the first scene that came to my head for this, and then I went, "Hey, I could write a fic centering on their interaction!" Then... I decided to make it dark... with tragedy... xSWEATDROPx Thanks!

**x **_lil-inu_ - You think he wouldn't? I see Kurama as a soft and compassionate character, very emotional. You'll have to explain his 'not giving a shit' to me. At any rate, I'm glad you're at least enjoying it.

**x**_ T.K. Yurikoto_ - Wow... You actually like... went back and made sure you reviewed... and you put it on your alert list! Arigatou!

**x**_ arisu16_ - Aw, thanks! I hope I updated soon enough; it was kind of a while...

**x**_ Serenader_ - You also have a COOL PEN NAME. Where do you people come up with this stuff? Non-religious God? Cool by me, dude. lol. Nope, not a one-shot. I'm glad you liked it so much!

**x**_ Electric Fire_ - xGLOMPS ELECTRIC-FIRE-KUN OF THE LONG REVIEWx Long reviews make me so happy. Haha, it seems that a lot of people liked the singing scene. Yay. And here we have someone that likes MY pen name. Heh. YAY for pen names. And YAY for pop-up ads that inspire our pen names, LOL. Yours is oober-cool, dude, oober-cool. A handsome young bishounen, asking me to dance, eh? ANY bishounen? xPUNCHES AIR IN VICTORYx "Oh Satoshiii! You know you love meee!" Satoshi: "Hell no..." OMG the fifth D.N.Angel DVD case is just so... I can't describe it. Here, see for yourself. Take out the spaces - http/ images. amazon. com/images/P/B00092A1LM. 01. LZZZZZZZ. jpg - xDROOLSx That picture currently resides in the center of my Satoshi shrine...

**x**_ silveryoukoshinomori_ - I know... it gets crueler. I like it too, lol. Cruelness, I mean. I LOVE tragedy. Haha, peace.

**x**_ mycatcoco7_ - Haha, yes, though you don't have to be concerned about your prowling mom for this one. That's Dusk Dancing's territory, if anything. Good luck with your new account!

That's all for now!  
Peace-ouT


	3. KURAMA x tenth June

DISCLAIMER.  
YuYu Hakusho is not mine. 

WARNING.  
This chapter is short. Sorry.

xdXbx

June tenth  
_Reflecting on my first entry into this "journal," I find myself dumbfounded as to how I could possibly have considered my feelings those of depression._

_Hiei and I spent most of the past week exterminating a growth of plants that somehow got here from the demon plane. I suspect smugglers. Though Hiei makes it out to be merely an annoyance not worthy of our time, (as is to be expected from him, naturally) some species we've dealt with really are vicious, to the point of having claimed lives. HIS claim is that he's "aware of that, as he has had to remind me many times."_

_While he seems to be doing perfectly well in our new environment, and while the same should be true of me (owing to all the plants about), my mood has thus far only been victim to the process off deterioration._

_Mother called last night, asking why I hadn't called her yet. I told her, quite truthfully, that I'd forgotten, how exhausting our days have been, and how sorry I was._

_She understood, of course. She thinks I'm volunteering at the animal shelter across the street from our hotel. That isn't a COMPLETE lie; many of the shelter's animals have been poisoned or suffocated by the wildlife we're dealing with. As far as the place's employees know, we're just your (hardly) average specialists in the (life-threatenng) art of exterminating unwanted (demonic) plants._

_I talked to her for what must have been half an hour, putting all my effort into making it seem as if everything was fine. I didn't work. She couldn't have seen through me any better if I had been made of glass. I remember what she said right before we hung up... before I hung up ON HER._

_xx "I'm your mother, Shuuichi. I can tell you're having romance problems." xx_

_I didn't know what to do. I barely even remember what I DID do. I just know it included denying what she'd said, yelling, cursing, swearing, and shoving down the phone when I was through._

_Last night's nightmare included an army of telephones attacking me, and as silly and ridiculous as it sounds, it had be screaming in my sleep, consumed by the inexplicable fear that something was very wrong. It took me half an hour to calm myself down after waking from that._

_I feel horrible. Is it selfish to wallow like this? There's someone dying somewhere, perhaps of suffocation or hunger, and I'm sitting here feeling so bad over a crush. I've become such a disgusting person, and absolutely nothing can excuse my bahavior towards my own mother. I love her more than anyone in the world. What if she won't talk to me now?_

_On top of that, Hiei hasn't been himself since the day after we arrived here. It's almost as if he goes out of his way to talk as little as possible, not just to me, but to everyone we meet. It's getting to the point where I have to translate his various grunts and hand motions to the few poor townsfolk subject to receiving them as answers to their questions. Though the process no doubt amuses both of us, it does get tiresome. And it worries me, if perhaps there is something bothering him that he's refrained from telling me about._

_Then again, why should he even bother with me at all? I am not Youko, and as I must keep reminding myself, these feelings I have for Hiei are mine alone, unrequited. But when I do remind myself of that, I merely become more depressed._

_I wish it would go away. Everything. I wish it would all just go. All my feelings, all my acquaintances... just go. I wish only to be left alone, in peace. Some would call it living merely as an empty shell. So be it. I just want everything to go._

_Another thing, Hiei and I keep finding ourselves in... embarrassing situations. One woman working at the animal shelter I've mentioned came up to me a few days ago as we were tackling a few particularly persistent flowers and asked if we were lovers. Just like that! I told her we weren't, but she didn't seem to believe me. So she went over to Hiei and asked HIM. When his response was the same as mine, she left. I thought I saw him blush as she turned away (he DOES do it from time to time, contrary to the belief of everyone on this earth but me), but I can never be sure; I couldn't bring myself to look at him for nearly an hour after that. I was certainly blushing._

_We talk every night before I go to sleep. I don't know how we fell into that habit. We just do. That night we talked about the woman and how crazy she was, and we wondered aloud about how she'd come to the conslusion she reached about us. His guess was that she was delirious with some horrible human fever-illness, doomed to be an insane matchmaker for the rest of her cruelly shortened life. Though my stomach twisted at that statement, I had to laugh with him. It WAS funny._

_I don't know what made me do what I did next. I did it, at any rate. I asked him what he thought of homosexual crushes, completely forcing upon him a topic we've never even brushed against before. He replied that he didn't care either way, so long as another man never tried to kiss HIM._

_I suppose I should have expected this answer, but it still hurt. Then again, maybe he feels the same way about heterosexual crushes and just hadn't cared to elaborate on the fact, Hiei being Hiei._

_Or perhaps that's simply wishful thinking._

xdXbx

Many thanks to _**silveryoukoshinomori**_, _**KyoHana**_, _**Kaida Black**_, and _**kilikxiaolian**_!

_**mycatcoco7**_ - To put it simply, YuYu Hakusho is an action manga involving mass blood, mass gore, and mass bishies. Hiei and Kurama are (in my opinion) the most interesting characters in it, and also (again, in my opinion) have the most interesting relationship. They don't "like" each other in the manga as I have them "like" each other in this fic, but they are very close. Kurama is the only person Hiei really considers his friend, though he cares very much for and is fiercely protective of his sister Yukina (who doesn't know she's related to him) and has a grudging respect for their acquaintance Yusuke. Hiei is short (like... five feet) with black hair that sticks up like the tipof a flame and a headband across his forehead to hide this thing he has called the Jagan Eye. He wears all black, all the time, and he's good with a sword. Kurama is average/tallish with medium-length scarlet hair and green eyes. My "boyfriend" (how many people have a paper boyriend, huh? How awesome is he, huh?) and Satoshi are doing quite well... Plieades is on my red notebook (as you know) and Satoshi is on my closet door. XD

_**Lady Serenader**_ - You have no clue how awesome your second review (the one to PsychoticAnimeStalker) made me feel. Thanks so much for that. In response to your first review: yes, Hiei will definitely have his hands full. And I like both Serenader and Lady Serenader equally, for the sake of outside opinions. Both are very cool.

_**Electric Fire**_ - OMG... Satoshi... -drooool- Whoa there... Lilac-SENSEI... you're overdoing it there, methinks. It's not all that hard to do Hiei when you're as cynical a person as me. The dryness comes easy, y'know?

_**T.K. Yurikoto**_ - Botan suspects, doesn't know. I may have her appear a few more times, to drop hints and give shoves... -wink-

_**PsychoticAnimeStalker**_ - Hiei thanks you for the flame. It gave him some extra fuel. You really did pick an excellent way to show what a considerate person you are, well done.

Until next time!  
-Lilacs


	4. HIEI x tenth June

DISCLAIMER.  
YYH does not belong to Lilacs.

NOTE.  
This chapter is dedicated to Her Awesomeness _T.K. Yurikoto_ for giving me the idea of pulling Youko into all of this. Thank you, _T.K_.

xdXbx

He's restless. He's thinking too hard about something, I can tell. He always gets like this when he's thinking too hard about something. He probably spent the whole night pondering something idiotic like the meaning of life.

It annoys me. He worries about the _stupidest_ things when he gets like this. How many times do I need to tell him that I am well aware that our mission is dangerous for it to sink through his thickened skull and into his head?

His mother called last night. From what I can gather of their conversation, it went something like:

beginning: happy greetings  
midsection: tense but friendly conversation  
ending: . . . rather unpleasant

He was mumbling about telephones in his sleep last night, before I finally got to sleep.

I consider that to be on the odd side.

And now he has _me_ pondering such ridiculous things as telephones. My question for him is why he so loves a _human woman_ that causes him to have dreams about _telephones_. This is weakening him.

He would be terribly off in Makai. There, he would be snatched up by a powerful demon not unlike his hidden Youko, a demon looking for an easy supper. Painful thought processes cannot be allowed there. There, there is only power and survival.

The very thought of Makai puts me on guard and clicks my senses into a mode of alert, though I remain stuck in Ningenkai with an ally currently acting as bright and cheery as a ghost. Joy.

These humans and their antics are getting on my nerves. I do not appreciate being greeted and treated as a human. I do not appreciate being greeted and treated as a _teenage_ human. I do NOT appreciate being mistaken for Kurama's lover. This gives me a strong urge to kill someone, which cannot be sated here. This infuriates me, though I do not show any outer difference in moods. Death comes easily to those that show their feelings, their weaknesses.

Which is why, at the moment, Kurama is disgusting me. Perhaps I should let him know. Yes, I think I will.

"There are more worthwhile things to do than sit on a bed all day, you know," I call to him from across our room where I am practicing swordplay in the corner.

"Which is why I'm thinking at the same time."

Interesting definition of multitasking.

"You would be killed for taking the time to do that in Makai."

"Yes, I suppose I would."

"This doesn't bother you?"

He shrugs, raises an inquisitive eyebrow, and his eyes narrow. Very good, get aggressive. "What of it?"

"It's hard to picture Youko Kurama as dead, that's all." I allow arrogance to flow freely through my voice. I've had enough of his pointless listlessness. I _will_ shake him out of it, even if it costs me a few scratches.

A huge, terrible energy envelopes us. "Please tell me," he says in a low hiss, "what color hair I have."

--He slowly crumples to the floor, drawing himself majestically up in a position easily lending itself to either attack or defense--

"Please tell me,"

--and raises his right hand, prepared to draw his whip at any second--

"whether I appear to be less than six or more than seven feet tall."

--and his front foot shifts forward, leaning his body into a powerful arc suited beautifully to battle--

"And please tell me,"

--and he sneers--

"If I,"

--and his eyes gleam with unleashed darkness--

"am,"

--and suddenly, his voice has changed.

I gasp against all my will. "Youko."

He drops his attack-position, crosses his arms. Amusement fills his face.

"Well, this is curious."

In a second, he has slipped across the floor to stand in front of me. I do not move. I refuse to show signs of fear to any adversary.

"Ah. . . Hiei-san. I've been wanting to meet you again for the longest time, you know. He laughs quietly when I reserve comment on his statement. "No, you were never very talkative."

My chin is cupped in the three longest fingers of his right hand and forced into an upwards tilt. He leans down, our faces inches apart. He speaks in a whisper.

"He's quickly regaining control. But I do wonder. . . Who are you, to make him feel like this?" His cool fingers slide upwards to appraisingly caress my lips, and I am frozen.

He disappears.

xdXbx

Hi all! Lilacs is back after a much-too-long pause. Xwaves furiouslyX

Sorry about the relative shortness. But I hope you all liked the Youko action, ne?

Due to rumors and such about replying to reviews in chapters not being allowed (which, in my opinion, is just about the stupidest rule ever), I direct you all to my livejournal account (my homepage, which you can get to by going to the top of my bio page and clicking the neat lil' link entitled homepage, for those uneducated in the oh-so-sophisticated Science of the Homepage). Review replies will be under the nice big heading, "Review replies for _My Name is Kurama_ chapter four." Date: eleventh November 2005. Time: twelve fifty-three (twenty-four hour time).

If you'd prefer just typing it in in the little net-address-box, the word for which escapes me, the link is:

"www . livejournal . com / users / starrtears" with the spaces taken out.

Review? Xpuppy eyesX

peace,  
Lilacs


	5. KURAMA x seventeenth June

DISCLAIMER.

Me no own. Not mine. Nope, nuh-huh. Not here. And so on and so forth.

-x-

June seventeenth

_Well, now Hiei will be happy to know he's finally got backup for every time he calls me stupid. I've been hospitalized for incorrectly handling a plant. Yes, that's right, a plant._

_I don't know much about what is happening, in all honesty. Hiei will not tell me anything; he doesn't want my frazzled mind to mix up anything he tells me. The poison from the plant causes my thinking to slow._

_Hiei doesn't say much at all, actually. He stands by my bed for short periods of time sometimes, when my mother isn't here and when he doesn't have to work and when the hospital isn't very busy. He never did like busy places. He prefers isolated tree branches. Sometimes I pretend to fall asleep when he's here. I always hope that maybe he'll stay with me. Of course, that would be a pointless waste of time. He always leaves within the minute._

_I wish, sometimes. I wish he would stay._

_When I'm released, the first thing I am going to do is grow my mother a bouquet of beautiful roses. Red and pink, and I'll tie them with a soft ribbon like she loves. She worries constantly over me. I feel badly to worry her out of sheer stupidity. Getting bitten by a poisonous plant. Honestly. . ._

_Now I'm tired. I'm going to go to sleep. I'll dream of Hiei, if I'm lucky._


	6. HIEI x seventeenth June

DISCLAIMER.  
Now let's take a little poll, shall we? Just to ascertain what the general consensus would be. If I owned Yuu Yuu Hakusho, which I do not, how many of us think I'd be wasting my time here instead of publishing more of it and making millions? Hmm, not many. . .

-dbdbdbdb-

The stupid idiot got himself bitten by a plant. Moron. Stupid, idiotic moron. He's supposed to be _good_ with plants. Liar. Stupid, idiotic, moronic liar.

I have to drag the stupid, idiotic, moronic liar to a_ human hospital_. I don't want to be anywhere near him. I do not like feeling threatened.

What did Youko mean?

What did I do?

As he is whisked from the emergency room to a more stable environment, the man at the desk asks me for his name and age.

"Fifteen," I say. Silly humans can't even tell I'm unsure. What use is an age?

"And the young man's name, sir?"

"Minamino Shuuichi."

"Thank you, sir. And you are. . . ?"

"Hiei."

"His. . . ?"

I pause. What is that term humans use when referring to allies? "Friend," I say gruffly.

The man looks surprised by this. He asks where 'Minamino-kun's' parents are. Stupid question to ask. Obviously not here.

I am allowed to see him after a few hours. His mother has been contacted and is coming over by train. I sit in the acutely uncomfortable plastic chair beside his bed.

"I don't like your name," I do not hesitate to tell him.

He laughs slightly, eyes closed. His face is fully flushed. He is exhausted. "What would you have preferred to register me as?"

I hesitate. Youko? My mind connects to last week. Definitely not. Simply Minamino? No. Kurama Shuuichi would not have been terrible, perhaps. Kurama. . .

"Kurama. Just Kurama."

His left eye tries and fails to look at me. "Why?"

His curiosity is exasperating. I need a reason? "That's what you are. Kurama."

"Wouldn't my mother have a time puzzling over that one. . ."

"And the authorities." The reason I didn't use it.

"And the demon world."

I nod in agreement. He doesn't see it, of course. "I'm leaving now. Your mother will be here soon."

He seems unhappy. "All right. You'll come back soon?"

Why? "Fine." I leave.

Just Kurama. . . it suits him.


	7. The Both of Them

DISCLAIMER. I'm not making any money, I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, and no copyright infringement is intended in the making of this piece of fanfiction. Thank you and good day. 

Summertime vacation starts today. AKA actual time to write for Lilacs. Probably will be mainly Tenipuri and CLAMP this summer, now that this is over. Hope to see some of you in those fandoms as well. Peace out.

-xdXbx-

The one who was called Kurama had died. That plant turned out to be deadly, apparently. One part of Hiei's brain was ashamed at such stupidity. Another part told him that Kurama was always stupid anyhow, and that nothing could really have been done.

It hadn't been all that bad, honestly. Hiei had seen far worse ends to basically good beings, stupid or no.

Before it had happened, it had just been the two of them, alone in Kurama's room. His mother was asleep when Kurama ceased breathing.

It had been strange. Kurama had closed his eyes, and that had been that, for a moment. Then he had opened them, and looked at Hiei—just looked at him. Looked at him, as the pain increased and a gurgling began at the back of his throat. For some bizarre reason, Hiei had gone forward, sitting on the other's bed, looking back at him.

Later, Hiei couldn't remember how long it had stayed that way before Kurama had left. It didn't matter. When it was over, Hiei had covered his ally with the hospital sheet and gone to sleep at the bed's foot, awakening in the morning to chaos and despair not unlike a day of living in the demon realm after a massacre. Humans were silly.

Hiei was content. Humans had all their notions of commitment and forever and always. The demon notions of being and now were much more sensible. Last night Hiei had learned all he needed and felt all he needed in a space of a few minutes. They had figured everything out with one look in one night. Why expect more?

A weight fell on his lap; Yukina had pulled him into a hug. He must have looked surprised, because she seemingly felt the need to apologize. "I'm sorry, but you're like my brother, even if we can't find my real one . . I wonder what Kurama-san's little brother must feel like now. I would hate to lose you, Hiei-san."

Kurama would rest peacefully. Hiei had things to move on to.

-Ending-


End file.
